#i'm very tired and this is the only way for me to talk about my obsession with haikyuu AND calm my chronic anxiety

[dailymanners]

A very bizarre phenomenon I've been thinking about lately is how much people who have a habit of treating conversations like a competition focus on turning conversations into a competition of negativity and suffering.

A few examples of what I'm talking about:

Person A: Phew, I sure am tired and out of it today, I only slept for about five hours last night

Person B: HA that's NOTHING! I wish I had it as good as you! I only slept for THREE hours last night! *had a smug shit eating grin like they just won the conversation and should get a trophy for their conversational victory*

Or

Person A: Whew, I had a weird dream last night.

Person B: HA you know NOTHING about weird dreams! Mine are so fucked up there's no way you'd be able to handle my dreams!! *cue smug shit eating grin and a sense of winning the conversation and dominating their conversational partner*

I mean, don't get me wrong, "ha that's nothing (gives an example of something worse) can be done in a friendly joking way when talking about some experiences, but you can tell when someone says it in an abrasive way accompanied by a smug shit eating grin that this is someone trying to win the conversation by out-suffering you.

I assume the type of people who try to "win" conversations by turning every conversation into a competition of who has it worse (and you just know they're in it to win it) are people who feel starved of attention and compassion and are desperately trying to get some.

However, this is by far the absolute worst and most juvenile way to get that attention and compassion they crave. I guess I can understand when teenagers do this, but when co-workers in their 40's and 50's are still doing this it is, to put it bluntly, it's rather pathetic that they haven't learned better ways of getting attention and compassion by now, because this is a really good way just exhausting and annoying other people rather than making them feel sorry for you.

That might sound harsh and mean, but I have little patience for grown adults who still lack the ability to try to get attention and compassion without trying to putting other people down. It's ironic that their methods for getting what they want are by putting others down and robbing them of the very thing you yourself want so badly.

At the heart of this method is some core belief of "only I truly know suffering and nobody else could possibly know suffering the way I do, and I need to make this clear to others by belittling their hardships and inconveniences and making sure they know that only I truly know what it means to feel bad."

In other words, this behavior comes from a place of selfishness and unwillingness to feel compassion for the hardships, suffering, or even just inconveniences of others. It's main character syndrome.

I can forgive when someone without a fully developed prefrontal cortex does it. However, from a grown adult, if you think you are the only person whose hardships truly matter and this justifies belittling other's problems, you need to grow up.

When having conversations with others, avoid being contrarian for the sake of it, and avoid one-upmanship.

Although you're not necessarily a bad person if you find yourself being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian, or trying to one-up everything someone else is saying, as these are behaviors people often do subconsciously when they're feeling insecure, threatened, or even if they're trying to impress whoever they're talking to, it's still important to try to be mindful of it.

You are certainly allowed to disagree with people, there is nothing inherently rude about disagreeing with someone, as it is possible to politely and respectfully disagree. Just ask yourself, do you genuinely disagree with your conversation partner? Or do you just feel as though contradicting for the sake of it will make you appear smarter or more confident?

Some people might think it makes them appear smarter or more confident to always contradict and/or one-up, but it often has the opposite effect making you actually appear insecure and/or possibly ignorant.

If you're being unnecessarily contrarian or repeatedly one-uping your conversation partner, there's a good chance you're frustrating and/or annoying them. Many people find it exhausting for conversations to be treated like a competition.

[makerofmadness]

ok so: Beast-Ancients Swap AU but actually the Beasts messed up the timeline and made it one

(I will explain I swear-) The following sprite edits and designs were a collaborative effort of me and @driftwoodmfb

(Lily's design and edit is not finished yet, and Ssalt isn't getting one until that character is released-)

general shoutouts to Driftwood for collaborating with me on this in a lot of aspects btw she's the mvp of this whole project

I am Very bad at concise descriptions but basically: "5v5 climactic final showdown occurs but the bad guys win and then the group consensus on what to all do together to compromise thanks to slightly different priorities is 'Hey we all really hate the ancients now so let's just like. Screw them over' so they basically used their combined virtues' powers or something (look all of this I came up with just to justify the AU's actual concept) to like reset and alter the timeline to swap their places with the ancients basically. and then they kinda accidentally get redemption arc'd in the process. Meanwhile the og ancients... are not happy"

I'm def gonna post more about these guys in the future (and also I like. Encourage people to send asks because I need enrichment dndndnmd! I have a ton of stuff sitting around about them and I love talking about them- so. Here's my attempt at an overview (I. Suck at being concise this took all day to not make way too long dndndndm):

Shadow Milk Cookie - Calls himself the Dark Moon Magician. He's quite braggadocious and more than a little mischievous, quite the show-off too, but he has a good heart down there (nowadays). Though he has often had to be badgered by the Light of Truth into actually telling the truth on things...

Eternal Sugar Cookie - You'll meet them someday. Just not now.

Mystic Flour Cookie - Her face and voice do not do much to express how much she despises the Cookie she used to be, and the Cookie she still sees whenever she looks in the mirror. She is the most eager to come clean to her Cookies, but something is holding her back... she decides to save it for when she has finally repented enough by her standards, to earn her position as queen. It's never enough.

Burning Spice Cookie - For the kingdom he rules, you may (or may not) be surprised seeing how little he cares for material riches. To him, lived experiences are the most precious things- hence why he's always looking for a good fight. Or to just have fun with those close to him- which is not many as he has had a history of issues- after all, transient things fall to time, but the impressions they leave can last up to forever...

Silent Salt Cookie - The fallen hero. It wasn't supposed to happen again. They all knew it could happen, they agreed to prevent it. Why did they make the same mistake...?

Pure Vanilla Cookie - The embodiment of the most common lie. He can string Cookies up to make them move and speak against their wills. He does this to himself often, when he grows tired. He is very ashamed of what he has become, but no matter, he will be fine once he regains the light of Truth, and exposes the truth of this world to all Cookiekind...

Hollyberry Cookie - Berry juice is a comfort to her, such is why she had wished so badly to drown her mind and all her pain in it. She is... frankly, harmless the way she is now. She doesn't have the power, pride or energy to fight. Her heart is just as full of love as it's always been, even if her mind's gone fluffy as frosting. So much that even being in a permanent stupor won't stop her from missing her family, still...

Dark Cacao Cookie - As he describes himself fully, an empty vessel without a will of his own, whose only goal is to carry out the will of fate. He will play his part in this story, for he knows there is no other way. After all, they'd tried to resist already, and it was all in vain. He is cold, empty, such was his resolve: to be unburdened by feeling, so that he would feel no pain...

Golden Cheese Cookie - Calls herself the Demonic Goddess. When she gets upset, she tends to fly into fits of destruction- which she has become very, very good at causing. She laughs it off, she laughs a lot in general, but she really does not like what she's become. However, she is still the same greedy Cookie as she always was, and still wants nothing more than to annihilate the ones who had displaced her and her friends and take back what is rightfully hers...

White Lily Cookie - Founder of the Lily Kingdom. She is a stern, serious figure who tries to keep everything under her control. She quickly silences those who tell her what she does not wish to hear untrue, unkind, or unnecessary things. She does not get very openly emotional often, and tends to address everyone with the same attitude even if it's her friends. (They can generally tell when she means well). She plans to silence all lies from Cookies' mouths, especially regarding who the "Heroes" and "Beasts" are...

(i. Never mentioned the name of the AU itself the whole time in this post did I? Ok uh that's Immemorial Interchange btw if I ever say that or II then I'm talking about this thing for future reference XD)

Edit: I have a tag on my blog for the au and I just kinda post whatever I feel like. Hope y'all can enjoy this I'm probably gonna be dumping a lot of stuff I've held on to. And I would love it if people send asks X3

[daniiiboo]

a new years kiss - qh43

summary- Your friend dragged you to a party, even though you really didn't want to. You end up meeting quinn and sharing a news years kiss.

trigger warnings - talks about drinking, some flirty comments

dani's thoughts - kind of a late new years fic, but hey, at least I got one! sorry about the bad summary, I'm very tired rn!

word count - 1.01k

The music resonated through the walls of the modern downtown Vancouver penthouse, the deep bass line intermingling with laughter and the loud rings of margarita glasses. You tightened and squeezed the hem of your dazzling black dress which now felt both too short and too tight in a sea of glamorous partygoers. It was your girl Rachel who dragged you here, and she'd promised a "legendary" New Years' Eve party, which you really didn't believe.

You'll thank me later," she'd promised, pulling you out of the Uber and into the elevator up to a skyscraper-high flat.

You'd stood near the kitchen, nursing your champagne and people-watching, when Rachel seemed to disappear. You felt a little lost, a little out of place, until a familiar face caught your eye across the room. Quinn Hughes. The Canucks' defenseman and local hockey idol was in a jovial mood outside the giant floor-to-ceiling windows, laughing about one of his friends' remarks. He was in a smart navy blue-coloured button-up shirt and dark jeans, well, his typically good looks remained even when he was in such a formal atmosphere.

You weren’t a die-hard hockey fan, but you’d watched enough games with your family to know who Quinn was. And maybe you’d developed a tiny crush on him after seeing him in those post-game interviews, his shy smile and understated humor stealing the spotlight. There, in the flesh, to look at him had the effect of flipping your stomach upside down, which had nothing to do with the champagne.

"Oh my god, is that Quinn Hughes?" a voice to your left whispered. You swivelled around and saw two women eyeing him with chuckles. 

"Yeah, he's so cute," the other chattered.

You saw your cheeks flush and hastily turned back to your drink. No way was someone like him going to notice someone like you in a room full of gorgeous, confident people. However, as if in a protest against all reason, his eyes moved across the room stopping on you. For a moment, you were convinced you'd imagined it. But no, his eyes lingered, his expression softening into a curious smile.

Your heart was racing. What was he smiling at? You looked back over your shoulder to discover whether someone else out there was watching your back, but nobody was watching you. When you turned back, Quinn was working his way toward you, weaving through the crowd with an easy confidence that only made him more intimidating.

Hey," he said, his voice smooth but warm, like you'd known each other for years. "I don't think we've met. I'm Quinn."

You blinked, momentarily starstruck. Up close, he was even more striking. His dark hair was a bit tousled, and his hazel eyes shone under the light of the chandelier that hung over him.

"I'm Y/N," you managed to say in return, trying not to sound as flustered as you felt.

"Y/N," he repeated, his smile spreading. "Nice to meet you. You here with friends?"

"Yeah, my friend Rachel dragged me here. She said I needed to get out more," you said with a small laugh. "What about you? Are you friends with the host?"

He nodded. "Yeah, kind of. I've been to a few of his parties before. They're always… a lot."

Well, that's one interpretation," you said, scanning the extravagantly decorated room and the host of people dressed to the nines. Right, are you sort of a New Years' Eve party type of person?

He shrugged, leaning casually against the counter. 

"Not really. I usually keep it low-key. But a couple of my teammates got me to go out tonight.

"Well, it's definitely not low-key here," you said, gesturing to the packed living room where people were dancing and shouting over the music.

Quinn chuckled, the sound warm and genuine. 

"No, it's not. But it's not so bad now."

You raised an eyebrow. 

"Now?"

He tilted his head, his smile turning slightly shy.

 "Now that I've met you."

Your breath caught. Was he… flirting with you? Before you could overthink it, Rachel appeared out of nowhere, tugging on your arm.

"Y/N, they're starting the countdown soon! Oh, hi," she said, noticing Quinn. Her pupils dilated a bit in recognition but she did not panic.

"Hi," Quinn said politely, giving her a nod.

"I'll catch up with you in a minute," you said to Rachel, who raised an eyebrow knowingly before turning and melting back into the crowd.

"Looks like we've got a few minutes until midnight," Quinn said, glancing over at the clock on the wall. "You want to head outside? The view's pretty great from the balcony."

"Sure," you said, trying to sound casual despite the fact that your heart was practically doing cartwheels.

The two of you went onto the big balcony, where the fresh night air was a breath of fresh air after the heat of the party. The city lay in wait, a ocean of shimmering lights. Fireworks started going off in the distance, bursts of color lighting up the sky.

"Wow," you breathed. "This is incredible."

Quinn rested against the railing next to me, with his shoulder touching mine. "Yeah, it is."

At that instant, the two of you stood motionless as you absorbed everything. The noise from inside was muffled and the city seemed almost peaceful despite the celebrations. And the countdown started, voices from the party echoed onto the balcony.

"Ten… nine… eight…

You looked at Quinn, already staring back at you. His face was soft, almost hesitant, weighing something over. Your heart was racing as the countdown went on.

"Seven… six… five…"

"Y/N," he whispered, leaning in closer. "Can I…"

"Four… three… two…

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. And then, as the crowd inside shouted, "One! Happy New Year!" his lips met yours in a soft, tentative kiss that made your entire body feel weightless.

As he recoiled the reddest of his cheeks were visible, grinning sheepishly toward you. "Happy New Year, Y/N."

You grinned, your heart soaring. "Happy New Year, Quinn."

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[uncle-fruity]

I've been the white person getting called racist and not understanding why, and I know how easy it is to feel defensive or flustered or guilty, but what the folks above are saying is 100% true. I've got an anecdote that I hope might be helpful for some fellow white folks to hear.

I was once at a house show and a black woman complimented my eyes, which are a very bright blue. I get that compliment a lot, and I get tired of hearing it but I also understand that people are just being nice, so I sought to amuse myself by responding with a joke. When this black woman complimented my eyes, I said, "Thank you! I'm borrowing them from a witch!" I'd only just started using this joke response in the last couple months. Just a little attempt at fantasy humor. Well, this woman got angry and called me racist in response. I was baffled, and she didn't really elaborate except to say something about witches and white people. I didn't understand, but I said sorry and let her be, as she did not seem interested in talking about it. I felt bad, and even worse that my gut reaction was, "How was that racist?"

Well, I never found out. I went home, I looked it up, I couldn't find anything. Google gave me nothing of use. I asked some friends I had, but they were just as confused as me. Even though nothing was coming up, I've more or less stopped using that joke just in case I'm missing something -- until I get more insight, at least. If anyone knows what she might have been reacting to, I would seriously appreciate a source for the information.

But I bring this up because this was one of those moments where I had to accept that I might just be the racist jerk at the house show in her mind forever, that she had a right to be mad about any perceived racism, and that I had to be okay with that. It isn't her job to unpack whether I'm actually a good person who's really trying my best. It isn't her job to get me up to speed, especially if she feels like I was trying to make a jab at her when she was just saying something nice. There are already a million and one white jerks who will ask black folks to defend their reasons for calling someone racist and demand an academic level contextualization, as if they're on trial and need proof, and not nearly enough of us who take the initiative to learn it ourselves.

There are academic papers. There are books. There are video essays. There are historical documents directly representing the sentiments & racist narratives of the time they came from. There are non-white people who have been writing and speaking about their experiences with racism for years and years and years and years. And there are people talking about it today, on this very website, and it's okay to just read & listen and to look things up if they confuse you or you need more context. A variety of sources will help you see the issue more fully.

Because the truth is that a lot of things that white people consider just part of "regular society" are baked in racism. The more you learn about racism and the history of racism and the ways racism has manifested over the years, the more you realize how much of that racism is embedded in our culture even in unassuming, casual ways. If you take time to learn about what racism really looks like, you can be more confident in your ability to avoid acts of racism. So if not wanting to be The Racist or not wanting to feel guilty about a Racist Action You Did is a real concern, the best remedy is to learn about it and try to see the ways you might be prone to perpetuating it. And when in doubt? Assume that a person of color knows more about what racism looks and feels like than you do. Reduce harm by resisting making defensive arguments to explain racism away, and just keep pursuing answers for your questions and discomfort by listening.

I highly recommend reading Ibram X. Kendi's work as a starting point, because he lays out the foundational stuff really well. I read How to Raise an Antiracist, but he also wrote a book targeted at adult learning called How to Be an Antiracist. One thing from his work that was helpful for me to internalize was that antiracism is an action, as is racism. No one is born A Racist -- it is not inherent to anyone. It is not an identity. It is learned and it is acted upon. Just so, antiracist is not an identity, but rather an action. If you care about being seen as One Of The Good White People, you will need to do the work to become one, and by the time you've done the work to become one, you will realize that that's not how it works. There is always work to do and how antiracist you are depends on what antiracist actions you take, not how antiracist your intentions were. You cannot simply say that you believe in racial equality without showing up for it. Racism is an action you take. Antiracism is an action you take. Doing nothing is still a choice, and it is a choice that tends to favor racism in practice. Learning more about racism as a topic and especially going out of your way to reflect when you've been called racist -- how you're going to better understand and better your actions -- are two very good antiracist actions that you can do for free.

And while you learn, just, know that it'll be uncomfortable and take some effort to unlearn everything. You might feel some kind of way about stuff -- parts of culture that you connected with and are only just now realize have racist tones. It's bad. It's really bad and a lot of our family members present & past do or did terribly racist things. You have probably done something racist. It's possible that you're going to do something racist in the future. It's uncomfortable to acknowledge, but we will never change if we can't accept that we need to put in the effort and do better. And we can't know how to do better or look out for non-white folks if we don't actively learn.

Sorry this got so long. I hope it is a productive addition to the conversation.

listen. white people. LISTEN to me. if a person of color yells you that you did or said something racist the appropriate response is to go "oh shit, sorry" and maybe MAYBE a follow up of "can you elaborate" if you dont understand why and thats. IT. we do not need elaborate prose about how sorry you are or how grateful you are for us telling you or how youre working on unlearning it or whatever. JUST SAY SORRY AND DONT DO IT AGAIN THATS IT ❤️

[across-stars]

(he's autistic to me)

[2prince2sparkle]

Losing my mind hearing that people think being punitively misgendered as they/ them only happens to she/her trans women and not also he/ him trans men

Edit: glad I dug through the shitty comments enough to find op saying she didn't mean the phrasing of a particular sentence to imply this didn't happen to trans men, she wasn't expecting the post to blow up and was just writing about the things she's experiencing in a casual rant way. Internet ok sometimes. (Still other people in the comments thinking the above though.)

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.

And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.

[bluarlequinno]

I can't believe I was right about this, I was half joking because I didn't think Wicked would actually be that much perceived outside of the fandom (somehow I forgot Ariana Grande fans existed and were actually gonna watch it just for her, silly me).

I guess the only thing I was wrong is that it was gonna be bad, as a Wicked musical adaptation it was actually pretty good and I've warmed up to it, I'm aware it was never meant to please the ideal version of the story I have in my head and it's fine.

But oh man...

I hope the Wicked hype dies down completely so our community can go back to normal, I'm tired of people invading a mostly queer space and feeling entitled to tell us that Gelphie isn't real, that we are seeing things as if this hasn't been a predominantly queer fandom, as if Gelphie isn't one of the most important things in the fandom, or acting super ignorant about the heavy political and social topics. Throwing hate to the book and misinformation without reading it and shitting on the original musical or refusing to watch it, dumbing down and reducing Glinda to being Ariana Grande and not being able to see her as a character outside of that.

Forgetting this characters aren't and haven't been this actors always, they aren't the actors. I do love the way Cynthia gave her own take on Elphaba, but she isn't the whole all in all of Elphaba, this character isn't Cynthia and has existed before her.

This is a very surface level explanation of the many things happening in the fandom, but I think it's a manifestation of how TikTok treats fandoms, before this movie, Wicked was barely in TikTok, I mean there were some, but not really much, and the fandom was the same people we've always been, and now people are treating it like a modern fandom without any respect for anything, without even caring about what this is, the level of entitlement and attempt of erasure of literal history for theater kids, queer people and sapphic ships in fandom is insane.

I want to clear out that I'm not saying all the new fans are bad, I'm not even talking about the people who've become new fans, but I'm just so tired of seeing how a fandom space that had been very nice and queer is turning quite stressful, at least for me lately, and I'm gonna say it, it might sound pretencious but I don't care. If you've only watched the movie, you don't know this characters the same way that a lot of us do, it isn't a bad thing because this movie and the way they are in the movie is very enjoyable in its own right, I'm glad for whoever is a new fan that this characters and Wicked the movie was so good to you that you've joined the fandom, BUT this characters and the way we, more older fans interpret them is very hard to explain because the book and the musical are different and we as a fandom have been exploring the way this two can coexist, therefore we integrate them into a way that we can see this characters as a mixture of both, or integrate more here and there, but always with a grain of salt of the differences etc.

These characters have been explored in ways that you'd never see in the movie, with personalities that you wouldn't only get from watching the movie, with conflicts that surpass what has only been presented in the movie. If you've only watched the movie, you really don't know years of interpretation and characterization and writing that we as a community have done for these characters and it does feel quite annoying to have people who's only interaction with Wicked be the movie, come here to talk to us about how we are wrong and try to give an opinion about something that we've been talking about for years with the same problems we've already been discussing for years.

Yeah the "omg the book is dark" was funny the first couple of times, but some of you act like children, I'm tired of having to see such awful anti-intellectual opinions, like we went through this before. Is it so hard to do some research? Is it hard to act analytically about a piece of media? Like seriously why do people freak out so much, I've read the book, you people exaggerate and twist the nature of this book to paint it like it was some fifty shades of grey obscenery or something. Do you even understand what you're reading? Or do you read in a TikTok comment that omg it's dark, and did you know? It has ... Sex

And I'm not talking about new fans, well at least not all of them, although I would not call someone a Wicked fan if they are like the people that I've mentioned prior who've invaded this fandom space.

I'm talking about people who think they know more than literally a decades old community that has cultivated their view of this story from the different mediums it's been. You don't need to read the book or watch the original musical to understand this movie, but don't come to this community feeling entitled to an opinion if you don't even care to engage with it fully outside of said movie.

No one mourns the wicked but I will sure mourn whatever Wicked used to be before this upcoming movie

[kyouka-supremacy]

Today was a good day :)

[daz4i]

starting to consider the option that i may not be the worst person on earth and i actually may even be p decent. will keep you updated as i find out more information

[skinnypaleangryperson]

Life would have been so beautiful if people in this generation had decided to actually care about each other instead of arguing on apps all day. For example, I would be alive by 40. Lol

[medicinemane]

.

[watery-melon-baller]

Lads i have Fucked Up Big Time

[obnoxiousarcade]

im thinking again

[genderdryad]

i feel like i shouldn't have to plaster "mspec/male 'lesbians' dni" all over my page but here we are